Hollywood Needs Gimmicks to Get You into Theaters

For some reason filmmakers and studios are resorting to gimmicks to get people back into theaters and to stop downloading movies off the Internet. I am just wondering why they didn’t decide to make better movies instead?

Was Open Season or Transformers really better in IMAX? Personally that big ass screen just bugs the shit out of me and makes my eyes go gaga… Two of my favorite films of 2007 I saw on the smallest screen available in Seattle, Seven Gables, the place looks like a house. The screen would fit in any one bedroom apartment and the speaker behind the screen is visible in all scenes with light colored backgrounds. Yet, Atonement and Once sit atop my list of best films of 2007 even though this was the screen I saw them on. Would they have been colossal bad ass productions had I seen them on a screen six stories high and 80 feet wide, with 12,000 watts of stereo sound? NO is the definitive answer to that question.

People argue that films with tons of special effects are perfect for IMAX because it offers a perfect picture and crystal clear sound. Hate to break it to yah, but outside of that damned speaker at the Seven Gables I am yet to be watching a film and say, “Damn, this picture and sound sure are shit. I wish I was watching this on the side of the Bank of America Building.”

So, why is IMAX prepping to install 100 IMAX screens in AMC theaters in 33 top U.S. markets over the next three years? Because they think that along with 3-D that is the only way to get people back into movie theaters. The movie industry never considered that the cost of nearly $100 to take a family of four to the movies on a Friday night was ever a deterent. Neither did they think that the fact that the majority of movies now days don’t stand up to that $100, not even for a second.

The Golden Compass cost New Line $180 million to make and in an effort not to piss anyone off they stripped it down from its source and turned it into a garbled mess that doesn’t even include a third act. This is why people aren’t going to movies, not because the fucking screen is too small.

Also let’s consider that films like The Dark Knight and James Cameron’s Avatar are two of the films currently at the center of the IMAX and 3-D fold… These are two films people would watch if they were on the end of a pencil eraser and in black-and-white, the fact that they are on giant screens or shown in 3-D doesn’t even matter.

A tell-tale quote comes from the Variety article carrying the information from IMAX co-chair/co-CEO Bradley J. Wechsler saying, “People love Imax, and they are willing to pay more to see a movie on an IMAX screen. We haven’t been able to meet the demand. This deal will begin to change that.”

Ha, ha, ha… stupid humans will pay more to see it bigger. Does that make any sense to anyone? Bigger is currently the reason for a lot of the problems in America… Do I need to bring up our “Super-Sized” society?

Rollout of the first 50 new IMAX screens will begin in July 2008 and an additional 25 will be installed in 2009 and the remaining 25 in 2010.

While I look forward to Cameron’s Avatar and Nolan’s Dark Knight I have a feeling there are going to be at least 10 other films in 2008/2009 that no one even has on their radar just yet they will be just as good if not better and won’t need gimmicks to make them so.


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